I Quit Quitting
Pursuing your dream is scary. You walk into the deep end of the unknown pool and figure out how to swim with little to no guidance. Even if you know how to swim, you have to continue to push yourself to swim stronger than before. There may be a life guard on duty, but they can only pull you out when you start to drown. They can’t swim for you.
I quit my full-time office job in November of 2014 and I knew that was the last time I would quit something full stop. It was also the last time I would have the luxury of quitting. Going alone in the freelance profession is full of obstacles and millions of moments that make you want to quit. Mental floundering is perfectly normal. Self doubt is always present, but how influential it is waxes and wanes with time. Some days it’s almost non-existent, other days it’s at the forefront of your mind and cripples everything you try to do. Days like those are where the idea of quitting come up. Those are the moments when you might need to look for your life guard or other support system.
I used to assume that other freelancers were the most self-assured people. Only people like that could or would go at this career choice. I never considered myself as someone that could do it. The idea of a “job” was working for someone else, collecting a paycheck, and doing the same thing till I was too old to do it anymore. I knew I didn’t want that for myself. But quitting that idea of a “job” removed the barrier of who was responsible. It was now my job to find work in order to make money. I assumed all the roles that other people in administration offices did. I was no longer just a cog in a machine; I was the whole machine. Taking up that role removed the luxury of quitting. If I quit, it’s completely on me. No boss pushed me to do it, no one project ruined it for me, it would all be on me. And those excuses are lame.
So I’ve quit quitting. Everyday I push on, even when it is THE most difficult thing to do. Some days are easier than others, and I have to remember to give myself a break from it. It’s a long road ahead, but I’m not going to quit.